(The “fall” was an appropriate season for this event. As I struggled with this relationship and how to walk in God’s truth and grace in the midst of it, I confided to one of my Christian friends how discouraged I was over my inability to follow what I thought Scripture was instructing me; that I should be content with insults (2 Corinthians 12:10), and that suffering well finds favor with God (1 Peter 2:20), so I felt I should be able to just live in this pain and do it well. I want every issue to be talk-out-able. I also learned to give less of my heart to people addicted to gossip and slander. ), “Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Or you will learn his ways And find a snare for yourself.” (Proverbs 22:24-25 NAS), “He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip.” (Proverbs 20:19 NAS), “But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler — not even to eat with such a one.” (1 Corinthians 5:10 NAS), “But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Pray before you go to visit/chat with a friend, pray during your visit and pray afterward. Now as an adult, it is generally my husband who reminds me to be careful with my heart. When someone hurts you, allow yourself to feel the emotions. Learn more >>>. I need the help of the Holy Spirit. 15. Sometimes God removes someone from your life because he/she isn’t right for you or the timing isn’t right. You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.” (Titus 3:9-11 NIV), “If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house, and do not give him a greeting; for the one who gives him a greeting participates in his evil deeds.” (2 John 1:10-11 NAS). Before we dive into the Scriptures that speak to this issue of hurtful people, let me share a piece of my own wrestling with this matter. She pointed out that when we go the extra mile for someone or suffer those insults, it’s generally for the purpose of our witness. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble” (John 16:33). Here’s how to forgive someone who has hurt you emotionally. 4. Don’t suppress them, but at the same time, there’s no need to react to or express your emotions. But as a child, she lacked the capacity to understand my actions as coming from a heart of love. But in the end, if we are really following Him, the choice has already been made. Believe it or not, there are ways to deal with people who have hurt you. After that, have nothing to do with them. Please try again. I went on like this for years. They might be people who have a lot of needs, and a few people I have counseled have told me that they are being used, and they finally had enough. God’s trials are one of the greatest ways to build your faith. God has a great future planned for you and He can’t give it to you with dysfunctional people around you messing it up. Does God Want You to Spend Time with People Who Always Hurt You? They were simply redirected off the main street of my heart. The context of those last verses has to do with people who are professing believers. Remember that hurt people hurt people and it is not about you. At first read, these verses feel harsh to me. God does say He won’t allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear and that He always provides a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13). Yes, the innocent suffer (see Job 1–2), but God can redeem that suffering. Pray! How long, O Lord? Because you still feel the pain of the hurt, you may wonder if you… I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”. I believed that if I gave 100 percent to the relationship, it would be 50 percent better until it grew to become a truly healthy, God-honoring relationship. This happens not only to Christians, but any nice person in general. Just as a god who is shaped by me will die with me. Will You forget me forever? How Should Christians Respond to People Taking Advantage of Them? 4. The Christian life should bring the good things in life, right? Nothing aches so badly as God’s apparent apathy. “Why did you do that, Daddy? The Bible has a word for our own ideas about God—it is “idolatry.”. And this confirmed what I already know — what I sometimes forget to remember: God always has a better plan. Pray, pray, pray about your relationships! I grew up on old movies and classic sitcoms. In our pain, we long to know why God allows grief and hardship into our lives. I believe that a life lived well needs a growing and intentional connection with God through Jesus Christ. we talk about Scripture, pray for each other, etc.) God allows pain and suffering and evil because He has a plan, and He’s working His plan. Grab our 30-day devotional, Finding Peace in the Mess – A 30-day journey to unshakeable hope in the valleys of life. God may decide to unite both of you in the future or he may not. Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above may be “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Even if you wish they were! The relationships that have Jesus as the center (ie. I know how hard it is. Isaiah 54:17 says, “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn” (NKJV).So, if you have people trying to sue you or harm you in some way, you just walk in love toward them, and stand on that scripture. Of course, God will not send you someone who’s unkind, immoral and does evil acts. Where was God when I needed Him? That’s wrong. You'll also receive fresh content each time I post. Andy Taylor is known for being the “sheriff without a gun” because he says most folks are good and sensible enough that if you just have a nice chat, most things can be worked out. As parents, we can all understand why I jerked my daughter off her bike. They feel confrontational and uncomfortable. So let’s get honest. Sometimes God causes us to seek him by driving us to him through the loneliness we experience. Those are hard to live out with balance! And I have wished, prayed, worked, sweated, cried, prayed more, and tried for relationships in my life to work that way too. 5. (Thanks!) I had a best guy friend. It doesn’t matter who hurt you. We may believe God is all-powerful and He can’t get hurt by anything we do. All I pray is that God allows us to face our pains head on and move forward. I’m not saying you have to be besties, but forgiveness is key. If you don't want to mess with logging in to a service, just: Jesus didn’t casually give Himself to people because He knew they weren’t trustworthy, and at the same time Paul knew he was called to give himself freely to the insults and persecutions of the people he was trying to reach. Our culture points to our pain as proof that God doesn’t exist; but the devil uses our pain to convince us that God doesn’t care. I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. We can get angry, depressed or we can see it as a gift. A god who is shaped by you will die with you. God’s powerful love should protect us from having awful families, from miserable marriages, from losing our jobs, from losing a child, or from having accidents only “other people” have. (Take a moment and read that again.) By saying what you have said, tells me you haven’t suffered profound pain. I wish the powers that be could sit down to a game of Scrabble and work out the problems all over the globe. As I started rewatching the series as an adult, I realized how much watching these TV shows seep into our worldview as kids. As she raced by me, I reached out and lifted her off the bike—saving her from the ravine but causing her to fall. Pray, pray, pray about your relationships! Forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you. I reread that list of red-flag Scriptures and prayed about how to follow through with love and grace. God sees the beginning and the end. 6. But in God’s gracious wisdom, He delineates (for those of us who keep trying to make the world our Mayberry) a series of cautionary red flags for our relationships so we can know who to let into that precious little main street of our heart and who doesn’t belong there. Now, when the need to take a lazy break pulls at me until I can’t stand up any more, rather reluctantly I succumb to the TV thing. Check with someone you know has your best interest at heart. Our culture points to our pain as proof that God doesn’t exist; but the devil uses our pain to convince us that God doesn’t care. Gania is right….it does hurt when you love someone and they don’t love you back. 2. So watch out for those traits in the people you let into your life and don’t be that kind of person either! Of red-flag Scriptures and prayed about how to follow through with love and grace of life you answers. Less of my heart, the choice has already been made 's common to wonder if our suffering is 's. 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